You can’t confuse it – it’s sunlight. Unique. So gentle and surreal.
Through the unwashed from the last summer glass of the old window, the transparent curtain, the decanter on the table it falls and shares its warmth.
You throw your tired arm, frozen from the shadows, into this sunny spot in the middle of the window sill and the ray reaches out to you.
And then suddenly memories hit… The love of those different people you’ve met in your life… Them sharing with you their feelings and experiences. Tremble and shiver in your body from this heat and comfort from the realization that it could/did happen… Brightest colors. Rainbows. Butterflies in the stomach.
In this daze you go out, walk and love. Carefully not to miss anything and God forbid to frighten off your luck or Universe. You now know how to observe, absorb, listen quietly so to understand more. You are after insights. You follow the signs, signs of nature and your intuition.
You stop to sit on the fresh cut grass, present in few realities, watching teenagers play badminton above you and also buried in your many memories.
You wander through the twisted alleys, peaking in the windows, faces, souls. You come into contact with them.
And the rain comes and you feel so alive and the sky is blue with a small cloud in the middle and there will be snow but before leaves falling and gray clouds over the spiers of houses. And it will be frost on the windows one day.
And the light in the kitchen will burn because it’s too early and the sun has not yet risen.
With conversations until the morning and your old bookshelf with your loved books and heart pressed to the heart, and hand in hand. Mesmerised.
Notebooks finished, candle shadows mysteriously dancing on the walls.
New books, movies, films, maps, photos. New doors, new roads, roads, roads, discoveries, dawns, tiredness of grey morning, the smell of gasoline, looks of passers-by, and returning home, brewing tea and reaching a homemade jam from apricots at the familiar kitchen shelf. And “Hold me! … Please!”